I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Randomize
