why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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