I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize