I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
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He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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