you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
