don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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