I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
it glows. i had to have it.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
