I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
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