so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
she smelled like a LAN party
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
