I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Randomize