New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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