38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
home. puking in laundry basket.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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