Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
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