Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
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