He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize