I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
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My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
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Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
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