I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
