doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
