ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
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