So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
