I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize