gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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