You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
