Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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