happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
