I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
