I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
