I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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