that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
