Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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