my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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