Kareoke will never be a sober sport
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
