There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
