I'm lost and stupid without you.
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
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