Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
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When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
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Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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