it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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