I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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