so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize
