I will die if light touches me.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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