hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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