My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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