instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I party with great urgency now.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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