I never want to see another naked old woman again.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
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