Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize