well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want