someone threw a dead crab at me
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home