I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.