Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
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then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
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You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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