Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Acid is not a monday night drug
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
