i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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