Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
