Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
