I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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