Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
