Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
