I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
