How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
i dont even know how to be here
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Randomize
