Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Drake has all the answers
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
