Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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