I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Randomize
