no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
