We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
