I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
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He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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