I'm lost and stupid without you.
I'm really into asian looking animals
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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