he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
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